my new, i will actually update it blog.

for anyone that wants to know where ive disappeared to, please check out my new blog. www.notjustbeauty.blogspot.com

SORRY!!

foe Sorry i havent blogged forever. the truth is, life has been so nuts i just totally have abandoned this. truth is that i have left weight watchers. i plan to keep doing this blog and creating a youtube account as i much prefer youtube. I cant afford weight watchers, and i didnt find it was working for me. the strict points just left me stressed and annoyed. ill post soon when i have my youtube account up, as im much more likely to post more there

All things life.

Ive decided that this blog wont only be about my weight loss journey. thats only one part of me. a major one, ill say, but still, there is a person behind this weight. I mean, many of us feel like our weight is keeping us from enjoying our lives. but is that really so? Or is it our minds?

Ive seen GORGEOUS plus size models and people rock fantastic clothes and bright makeup. They look alive and happy. Ive also seen thin people that look starved of life and just over it. So the blubber cant be whats stopping us.

For the last few years, ive had a tough time. From my mum's breakup with a lifelong partner (and following abandonment of a mother figure..yes, my mum is gay. I lost a mother that day) to being bullied at school, my grandma getting cancer, and being 5000 dollars in debt with nothing to show for it. My soul got crushed. I gained roughly a kilo a week. But you know what? Thats my past. Yes, it makes me me, and its scars on my soul. But 2010 is a new year.

With a new Brittany. And im still overweight, but im living my life and enjoying it. I just got a fantastic job at Crown Casino that im dying to start. Ive joined weight watchers and i think i will be hitting my 5% goal tonight. I have a wonderful boyfriend who always looks after me and i love dearly. Ive ended my money problems, and am saving like a whizz, yet i seem to never be without what i want. Im daydreaming about working full time and renting my own place to share with my boyfriend and some cats.

So what resurrected my soul? It was the people around me, and my mindset. Id had enough of asking for pity, of crying because i had to leave the house, and of destroying valuable relationships. I wanted to be me again. So, through the tears, i picked myself up, took a long look at myself, and set myself on a path or self-repairation that has created this wonderful, strong vibrant happy person that is opening her heart to you now.
I read self help blogs, I learnt about how to deal with depression, I asked people for help. I fixed my messes. Soon enough, people began to trust me again, my money issues got sorted, and i became ready to face my last challenge. Undoing the physical evidence. That meant removing the 40 kilos of tears, hurt anger and food from my body.


I know enjoy the simple things, as it really makes me appreciate all that I have. Perfectly applied makeup. That feeling at 6 am after working all night that says, the world is waking up, and youre here to witness that wonder. Fresh socks after a hot shower. Really high shoes. Good fresh food.
A ripe tomato.

I took the time to learn what makes me happy, and i make sure to do it as often as possible. A weird one is that i feel much calmer when my nails are perfectly painted. Preferably black. Or blue, red or white. It makes me feel looked after and in control.

My point to this rambling blog is this. Life IS only as good as WE make it. If we see ourselves as fat, overweight ugly creatures, then everyone else will see that. But if we see ourselves as creatures worthy of our own time, that have so much to give the world, and so much to learn, people will see the person behind the shrinking blubber.

So i say to all of you, take some time today to think about what makes you happy, write a list and do them. We gained weight and ate for mental reasons, the only way we can fix it forever is if we tackle those issues and WIN!

Please feel free to comment me, and tell me what you love doing. we may have ssomething in common, or we may just influence each other!

-Until next time,
Brittany.

Over and Under..

hey all.

so yesterday it was my sisters birthday so we did our usual thing. hot chip lunch, with a new twist, a trip to the most wonderful chocolate store EVER. Hahndorf's..or something like that. it was divine. I ate to keep me satisfied. I had six little choccys and two skinny lattes. It was devine...but i felt sick the rest of the day. I still went for a forty minute walk, and had saved points. i handled it really well I think. OH and boy did i love it. I really am relieve that being with WW means that i can still have days where i have treats, and let myself go a little. I know how much i want to be thin, but i also know that i hate feeling deprived. well dont we all.

ontop of this, i have been reading a book by Dr Amanda Salisbury-Salis, called the 'dont go hungry diet" which ive found really interesting. very scientific. It has already explained a few things for me. The biggest one was about plateaus and how to break them, and how to activate certain weight loss hormones in our bodies.

interestingly enough, the idea is simple. if youre hungry, eat. eat something nutritious and filling, that leaves you feeling satisfied. if youre not hungry, dont eat.

simple?im trying it this week. i havent been hungry at all today, so when i felt hungry enough, i ate small, light meals. i feel like ive eaten great food and i feel satisfied. ive eaten 16 points, when WW recommends 24 for me.
i have eaten a wide variety of fruits, veggies and proteins, so im happy. i feel lighter, and i feel like ive detoxed everything from yesterday out of me.

i guess ill find out in a few days.

i fully recommend reading this book, as its really interesting, eye opening and useful.

good luck everyone, thanks for your wonderful comments!

Bugger..

Weigh in yesterday. lost 200 grams. still 100.5 kilos. bugger. i got told it is because the body cant really handle two massive losses in a row. so im ok with it. ive lost four kilos in four weeks, and im beginning to see it. im really happy. my waist has shrunk by five centimetres or so, which is no surprise, it shrinks so much at the beginning. im going to have a total hourglass figure after. that will be soo fun to accentuate. though it does mean that my hips still look as big as ever..lol.

so i think that my body does not enjoy me eating only 21 of my 24 points. it prefers to have the deficit created by exercise. so this week i am going to aim for 22-23 points everyday, and more exercise. should be possible. will be done. and maybe this week ill get under 100. im feeling really good though. less headaches, tummy aches only when i work. I work overnights at mcdonalds...yes i hear that moan you just made. but to be honest, seeing all that fat and salt mixed together on the fry machine just makes me feel like i dont want to touch them. same for most other foods. i like the coffee though. lol.

so this week im just going to focus on planning better and having better foods at home. i hope everyone has a good week.

heres to hopefully being under 100 kg next week

weigh in tomorrow

I have my weigh in tomorrow and im feeling anxious. im excited cause i will be under 100kg, which will be fantastic, but nervous...i cant guarantee that ill be under 100.
But ive eaten quite well, and i so far have a points deficit of 10, which is a good amount, since i had a point deficit of 15 last week and lost 2.7 ofcourse i realise that having such high deficits every week isnt great,which is why i plan to alternate. some weeks ill aim for a five-ten deficit, some a fifteen depending on what i want that week. this early on in the game though, i need to feel like im working really hard and getting great results. that need will fade a little later on. lol.

i havent recieved any of those "wow youve lost weight" comments, but im sure that when i hit ten kilos in a month or a bit more, that will begin to happen. the changes in my body are still very subtle, like clothes not digging in and things feeling better. they all look a little better, but not by a huge amount yet.

ive decided to put away money every week (hopefully ten dollars) so that when i reach goal, i can buy myself a corset. I really cant wait. ive never bought one before, knowing i would always lose weight, just never sure when. but this is my time. this year is about getting my life back, becoming a strong, sexy fit woman/girl who is not afraid of failure and is ready for anything.

what will your year be about?

-xo Cannibal

oops...forgot to update.

Sorry. new to this.

had my weigh in last thurs, and i had lost 2.7 kilos!! i was so happy. that brought me down to 100.7. HEHE...so this thurs i will hopefully be under 100 kg and will never EVER be this fat again...NEVER!!!!!!!!!!

By breaking all this down into small, 5kg goals, its made everything so much easier. 40 kilos is not daunting when its simply eight lots of five....well it is, but a lot less daunting.

so ive been eating really well, and even though i had a huge blowout on friday (worked all night means more food, then out for tea equals 32 points....im supposed to have 24 points max)

but i earnt that back in a few short days, and have created a points deficit again. no more than four a day, but that really helps me pull a bigger number.

iim also really close to my 5 percent goal. i might even hit it this week..that would be great.

wish me luck,

-Britt