All things life.

Ive decided that this blog wont only be about my weight loss journey. thats only one part of me. a major one, ill say, but still, there is a person behind this weight. I mean, many of us feel like our weight is keeping us from enjoying our lives. but is that really so? Or is it our minds?

Ive seen GORGEOUS plus size models and people rock fantastic clothes and bright makeup. They look alive and happy. Ive also seen thin people that look starved of life and just over it. So the blubber cant be whats stopping us.

For the last few years, ive had a tough time. From my mum's breakup with a lifelong partner (and following abandonment of a mother figure..yes, my mum is gay. I lost a mother that day) to being bullied at school, my grandma getting cancer, and being 5000 dollars in debt with nothing to show for it. My soul got crushed. I gained roughly a kilo a week. But you know what? Thats my past. Yes, it makes me me, and its scars on my soul. But 2010 is a new year.

With a new Brittany. And im still overweight, but im living my life and enjoying it. I just got a fantastic job at Crown Casino that im dying to start. Ive joined weight watchers and i think i will be hitting my 5% goal tonight. I have a wonderful boyfriend who always looks after me and i love dearly. Ive ended my money problems, and am saving like a whizz, yet i seem to never be without what i want. Im daydreaming about working full time and renting my own place to share with my boyfriend and some cats.

So what resurrected my soul? It was the people around me, and my mindset. Id had enough of asking for pity, of crying because i had to leave the house, and of destroying valuable relationships. I wanted to be me again. So, through the tears, i picked myself up, took a long look at myself, and set myself on a path or self-repairation that has created this wonderful, strong vibrant happy person that is opening her heart to you now.
I read self help blogs, I learnt about how to deal with depression, I asked people for help. I fixed my messes. Soon enough, people began to trust me again, my money issues got sorted, and i became ready to face my last challenge. Undoing the physical evidence. That meant removing the 40 kilos of tears, hurt anger and food from my body.


I know enjoy the simple things, as it really makes me appreciate all that I have. Perfectly applied makeup. That feeling at 6 am after working all night that says, the world is waking up, and youre here to witness that wonder. Fresh socks after a hot shower. Really high shoes. Good fresh food.
A ripe tomato.

I took the time to learn what makes me happy, and i make sure to do it as often as possible. A weird one is that i feel much calmer when my nails are perfectly painted. Preferably black. Or blue, red or white. It makes me feel looked after and in control.

My point to this rambling blog is this. Life IS only as good as WE make it. If we see ourselves as fat, overweight ugly creatures, then everyone else will see that. But if we see ourselves as creatures worthy of our own time, that have so much to give the world, and so much to learn, people will see the person behind the shrinking blubber.

So i say to all of you, take some time today to think about what makes you happy, write a list and do them. We gained weight and ate for mental reasons, the only way we can fix it forever is if we tackle those issues and WIN!

Please feel free to comment me, and tell me what you love doing. we may have ssomething in common, or we may just influence each other!

-Until next time,
Brittany.